I can’t be a missionary, I’m not a people person! (guest blogger)
I got special permission from Beth McManus (who serves with CAM International with her family in San Juan del RÃo, Querétero, México) to post this email she sent. You can visit the website of the McManus family here.
I used to think that missionaries should be people persons. They should be energized by being with others. They should love being in crowds, talking, laughing, attracting others through their charisma. You’d think that having grown up on the field as an MK, I’d know better.
God doesn’t just call one type of person. The missionary body is every bit as diverse as the church body, each being asked to be the part God designed them to be. Christ doesn’t just use mouths to share the gospel, He uses hands and feet and knees and shoulders and eyes and even pinky toes! As I watch our mission body work, I am amazed at how different we all are. Some are accountant types, needing everything written out, planning to the last penny and accounting for every minute. Others are such people persons that they can’t plan a day to save their lives, “Appointment? I had an appointment with you? Oh well, I met this friend on the street and he needed to talk and so I took him for coffee and . . . ” Some are glum and pessimistic about life. Some are so visionary that they overwhelm everybody else. Some are in the middle, plodders who just “get the job done.” Some love get-togethers and socializing. Some would rather hide in a cave forever. Some vacillate between the two.
Some are short. Some are tall. Fat or thin, God uses all! (I’ve been inputting lots of books this week and am in the middle of Dr. Seuss. Can you tell?)
I think I’m in the middle. I’m not a people person, but I’m not a hermit either. I often dread activities with church people, the youth, or missionaries and then when I get there, I enjoy them. I like to listen to people and pray for them and try to help them, but every now and then I hit the wall.
I hit the wall after helping with 6 teams and having other guests all summer. I got to the point that I had a mini-panic attack about going to church one Sunday and would have skipped if my dear husband hadn’t ordered me to get ready and come with. I dreaded our team’s prayer meeting a couple weeks running. AND I even avoided my children, Alan and Mom as much as possible this week.
Alan has been working for weeks on a getaway for us but, being rainy season, it just didn’t seem worth it to pay to go somewhere only to be rained out. I found myself longing to just borrow somebody’s house, to just go somewhere that we don’t have to be company or answer phones or doors or talk about work or think about work or think about anything! The funny thing is that I never thought to PRAY about it. I just wished and longed.
Alan settled on a place and called some dear missionary friends who are like an Uncle and Aunt to me, asking if we could stay with them a night or two on the way to and from our destination. Lo and behold! They are on their way to Guatemala for a couple weeks and invited us to stay in their house the whole time! I got my wish!
God heard the longing in my heart and, in His great love, gave it to me even though I never thought to ask. It’s not that I didn’t think He cared or that I thought He’s too busy for “such little things” as vacation. I think I got overwhelmed with the cares of this world and forgot to keep looking to Him. I’ve often looked down on Peter for sinking in the waves instead of finishing his walk over the water to Jesus. I’ve often thought, “If I’d been there, I wouldn’t have done something so dumb!” Hmmm! Pride goeth before a fall, huh! Yet God uses me! He relishes my weakness because it shows His power when He works in and through me! I’m just amazed!