What Did Jesus Think About The Family?

Last time I was asking the question – what did Jesus think about the family? After all, if someone is God and the flesh, and can conquer death, I’d like to know what He thinks.

For starters, maybe this isn’t all that complicated. After all, Jesus was a first-century rabbi. That gives us a pretty good idea what He thought right off the bat.

But, you may say, didn’t He reject a lot of the typical teachings of His day? Yes, He did sometimes reject rabbinical tradition. But there was one thing that He did not reject.

The words of Jesus:

But it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one dot of the Law to become void.

Luke 16:17

One “dot” – that is, the smallest stroke of the pen. The Law – in one sense, that’s all of the Scriptures, but more specifically the Law of Moses, the Pentateuch – the first five books of the Bible.

In fact, listen to this. It’s common knowledge that the Pharisees were some of Jesus’ most ardent enemies. But Jesus actually told people that they should be obeyed – when they taught what Moses taught:

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice…”

Matthew 23:1-3

We’ll talk more about the law later, but we know that Jesus believed it, and obeyed it. And so if we really want to know what Jesus thought, we’ll find more details in Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, and the rest of the Bible.

There’s a fascinating encounter between Jesus and the Pharisees in Matthew 19. Now, we have to remember that first-century Israel was a very religious place. Sin? Yes, lots of that too. But people did know about God’s law, and Pharisees would discuss even details such as how God may want you to wash a pot, or eat your dinner.

And so there really wasn’t a big public controversy about the definition of marriage, or if a man is a man. But there was a lot of discussion about divorce. Let’s take a look.

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

Matthew 19:3

Good question. Moses did talk about divorce. You were certainly not allowed to switch partners whenever you wanted. We won’t take the time to talk about all that the Bible teaches about divorce, but Moses did talk about a “certificate of divorce”, in Deuteronomy 24.

But Jesus didn’t respond using either Deuteronomy or Leviticus. Watch what He does:

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 19:4-6

Where did He go? Imagine that. Genesis 2.

They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”
He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so…”

Matthew 19:7-8

All right, now look carefully. According to Jesus, why can’t a man divorce his wife “for any cause”? Think about it.

A man may not divorce his wife for any cause because… “from the beginning it was not so”. Because from the beginning He created them “male and female”. And so on. From Moses’ own words, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife…” Why? Because He “made them male and female”.

This is an absolutely incredible truth. Jesus says that God created with a purpose; He created a pattern for us to follow. What’s the pattern? One man, one woman, together for life.

Do you see what Jesus is saying? God doesn’t necessarily need to give us detailed laws. He gives us a pattern in creation and expects us to follow it.

Jesus takes all the discussion and debate of centuries and cuts through it all, with just a few words. We should have already known the answer. Ever since Genesis 2.

Remember the three keywords from the first part of our study? Truth, Dependence, and Purpose. Who determines the purpose of creation? The Creator. He is the source of our identity. He is the source of marriage and family.

According to Jesus, the pattern and purpose of God in His creation determines how we should live today.

And so where should we go next? You guessed it. Genesis 2. But we’ll get there next time. First, let’s talk briefly about the reality of today’s world.

We’ve seen a bit of Jesus’ teaching about marriage and family. A family begins with a man and a woman, married for life. Normally, children follow. Today, Jesus might be fired from His job for believing that.

Our world is full of confusion about families. Hey, we can say that a family is such-and-such, but then we look around and have trouble finding an actual example of that basic pattern! And of course we are told over and over – there are different kinds of families, different kinds of marriages, and so on.

Not only that, we have confusion in our own selves. Our own desires are not always pleasing to God.

You may know someone who seems to be a girl, but who dresses like a boy. A man who says he’s a woman. Maybe in your own experience, you have desires or experiences that you’re confused about. You’re not alone.

Many have suffered abuse in their own families. Things that are against God’s law. Many have sins in their past that still torture them.

And for youth that may be reading, I probably would join with many adults in saying – we too have experienced a lot of confusion about our own desires, our own bodies.

Why am I sharing all this? Because I want you to know that these are acceptable topics of conversation in the church. You can talk with someone, you can pray with someone. The Lord Jesus has helped so many of us. He has offered us forgiveness from sin, He has brought healing, but all of us are still learning.

We need to have compassion for one another. And compassion and love for our friends and neighbours who do not (yet?) follow the Lord.

One more aside. We need to clarify that there are also illnesses, or genetic conditions, which may enter into the picture when we’re discussing family and gender. So sometimes we also talk with our doctors and specialists to help us with physical and mental challenges.

But more often, the confusion comes from things that the world is telling us, and from our own sin.

There’s a lot of talk today about “body image”, good or bad. Do you know where confusion and shame regarding our bodies started? Genesis 3. In Genesis 2, there was no shame. In Genesis 3, when the first humans violated God’s law and destroyed their relationship of love and peace with Him, they quickly looked for fig leaves to cover their bodies. Shame.

People have had confusion about their bodies for a very long time.

But next time, we’ll go back to Genesis once again, and then go on to see what else God’s Word has to say.