Peacemaker seminar, Day 1

Today we had the first half of the conference we’re attending in Puebla, Mexico.  It’s being put on by Toby Casteel and Roger Oliver, both missionaries here in Mexico.

The seminar is all about “Peacemaking”.  Like many people, I’m suspicious of formulas, trends, or “directives from above” that are supposed to be “biblical”.  Whether I’m right or wrong, I rarely recommend books or materials, at least publicly.  But I will say this about the Peacemaker material, which we’re using at this conference:

If you look at it with an open heart, it will help you to wrestle with what God has to say in the Bible about our relationships with one another.  Even if you were to reject everything that Ken Sande (the author of the book and founder of the organization) has to say about peacemaking, it’s worth your time to read the book.  It brings up Scripture again and again and brings us face to face with what the Bible says about our responsibility as Christians.

That being said, let me share two (of many) things that struck me today.  Having been through the material before, different things hit me each time I look at it.

First, I was thinking about some of the reasons we avoid dealing with conflict.  One thing we discussed is why (in 1Cor 6:1-8) Paul tells believers that they should not be filing lawsuits against one another.  I wrote,”[It] shows we are incapable and defeated, smearing God’s name and bringing His power into doubt.”

Later I thought that it actually brings many of His attributes into doubt – for example,”If they follow a God of love, why can’t they love each other?”  We also talked about how a lawsuit is a shallow solution that really doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.

But then I got thinking…we often avoid conflict for some of the same reasons.  We’re afraid that if the church/our friends/the world finds out about this or that conflict, they might:

• Think I’m not a good Christian
• Wonder why God couldn’t keep me from that sin
• Wonder why my “religion” isn’t doing me any good
• Think we’re all hypocrites

But in the end, we are commanded to make things right with one another.  And we must trust God for the results, and trust God to protect His good Name, as we obey.  And after all, 90% of the time, everyone else knows there’s a problem anyway – it’s not like we’re hiding it all that well!

Another thing that struck me had to do with cross cultural conflict, which we are actually dealing with tomorrow (so maybe I’ll have to change my mind then!).  This one is hard to explain in short form, but we were talking about Jesus’ words in Mat 18:  If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone….

In his book Cross Cultural Conflict, Duane Elmer talks a lot about the indirect confrontation of various cultures.  It’s inappropriate in most cultures (unlike in Canada and the States) to directly confront someone.  You work through the community, but you allow the person to save face by not being direct – not directly mentioning their sin, especially to them.  To do so would be disastrous to your relationship.  But does this fit with Jesus’ words?

I think that maybe it can.  Jesus does say you need to go directly and privately to the person involved.  It’s hard to get around that.  But it is possible to help someone see their fault, to let them know you know, without being direct.  Perhaps there is room in what Jesus says for culturally-appropriate indirect language.

I won’t take the time to talk about the ins and outs of direct and indirect confrontation, but if you see where I’m going with this one, feel free to stop by and leave your own comments!

Time for bed.  If I can, I’ll drop by again after tomorrow’s sessions.